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| It is what it is.
I can't deal with you right now.
I still want to be friends.
I don't trust you.
I will talk to you.
I don't want to talk to you.
I'm not sure we can be friends.
Just leave.
Same tune plays over and over again; the only thing that changes are the faces and the names. I know I'm to blame.
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| I love my politically controversial dirty hippie feminist vegan tree-hugging dred-rocking mandolin-stummin poster child of the revolution lady lover. | | |
| there are those days where you feel like you're on top of the world then things level out for a moment and it feels like smooth sailing and then..the plummet. Its true..i do horrible things to peoples lives. Then there are people who write papers about me in class pertaining to how much positive influence ive had in their lives. However, the latter means nothing to me if Ive hurt even one person in my existance. It almost makes me want to just tell Alicia next time i see her to just leave me alone. She doesnt need the headache. I know its not anywhere near whats shes looking for, at least not right now, regardless of her bisexuality. Sure she likes me.. quite a bit...and I know ive never clicked so well with anyone else right off the bat like i did with her. But...when we were first introduced, she gave me the quick rundown of her views on the awkwardness of having friends that like you ..as i stared down at my shoes while we walked...trying to play along. I don't know what her sentiments were pertaining to that subject by 3am that night/day...but anyone who can spend 8 hours with me and not want to kill me is a very rare person indeed. Shes so...fascinating. and she likes my bad puns..hahaha. We're going for coffee tomorrow at The Beehive around 10 pm..lol. We talked until our voices were hoarse last night...I think my favorite part of that night was the free local punk rock show. That girl...can dance...and O, did i try..hahaha. I just..dont want to start something if nothing good is gonna come of it. O well... Im just going to take this really really really slowly. .that is..if i can keep my stupid ass from flirting. Ill have to work on that. Ok..well i do have class tomorrow so im going to go to sleep now. gnight. | | |
| Egh...no more gay men....no more men in general..no women either....nothing to fuck with my head or emotions for a while. Self-centered alcoholic assholes. Went out today to the Beehive..strange coffee shop...met some people I could really get to like. It was relaxing...and hysterical at times. I always get along better with older men and women. They're just easier to understand...and none of them seem to have any trouble understanding me. Perhaps because they've been there. Anyway, it was a good time - those few hours. Wouldn't mind doing it again sometime...under more pleasant circumstances though. Its been a while since i made anyone laugh like that...and it felt good to have sentient conversation with some fellow geeks and freaks..lol..even if they were in their late 20s early 30s. Really..i could kill every fag on the planet right now without any remorse. Sooo sick of drama. Especially raging, alcoholic, queen drama. I almost prefer rednecks...sad hm? | | |
| ANYwho. It certainly has been some time since I sat down and did a proper entry for my xanga. Not that I'm going to do one now, I just felt like saying that is all. You know I've found its much more entertaining to read my blogs with an English accent..go on..give it a try. So, I am to embark on an adventure tomorrow evening with some lovely fellows who quite enjoy their privacy..and by that I do mean they are homosexuals in every sense of the word. And...the destination? Kennywood. Apparently its "Fright Nights" at Kennywood starting tomorrow evening at 7 o'clock. Fabulous no? Especially since we bought our tickets for the bargain basement price of 18 dollars. Yes, well....I am sure it will be a night to remember..*eye roll*. Don't get wrong I'm not ungrateful that Will so kindly invited me its just....I know Dave invited him as a date. Dave likes me well enough though and Will wouldn't bloody well shut up until he relented. I spoke to him about it and he seemed alright with my tagging along regardless. He may be ok with it but I am not. Will shouldn't be so inconsiderate toward Dave. He really is a nice fellow. Actually I like him 10 times more than I like William to be honest. Hm..it just makes me think of what I'm planning to do once Alicia comes back from break. Probably nothing. Not like she'd ever like me anyway... I mean, she doesn't even know I exist. Heh, well anyway.. Thats all I have to write about this evening. Cheerie-o and good night. | | |
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